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You
know you drink too much coffee when ...
Juan
Valdez named his donkey after you.
you
ski uphill.
you
speed walk in your sleep.
you
answer the door before people knock.
you
sleep with your eyes open.
you
just completed another sweater and you don't
know how to knit.
you
grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
you
have to watch videos in fast-forward.
the
only time you're standing still is in an earthquake.
you
lick your coffeepot clean.
your
eyes stay open when you sneeze.
the
nurse needs a scientific calculator to take
your pulse.
your
T-shirt says, "Decaf is the devil's coffee."
you
can type sixty words a minute with your feet.
all
your kids are named "Joe."
you
don't need a hammer to pound nails.
your
only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet
and Low."
you
don't sweat, you percolate.
you've
worn out the handles on your favorite mug.
you've
built a miniature city out of plastic stirrers.
people
get dizzy just watching you.
people
can test their batteries in your ears.
when
someone asks you," How are you?",
you say," Good to the last drop."
your
birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
you'd
be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.
you
go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell
the coffee.
you
speak perfect Arabic without even taking a lesson.
your
Thermos is on wheels.
you
can outlast the Energizer Bunny.
you
don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
you
think being called a drip is a compliment.
you
don't tan, you roast.
you
don't get mad, you get steamed.
you
soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
your
coffee mug is insured by Lloyds of London.
you
think CPR stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."
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